Features > The Guidance Counselor

by Doug McClelland

(posted September, 2004)

From: Rob
Subject: Blowjob to completion
Question: I am a married male that has begun fulfilling some of my lifelong fantasies over the last year -- sucking cock and getting fucked in the ass. I have been with one guy about three times and I have sucked him (bare) and he has fucked my ass (protected) each time in several positions. I really want to have him shoot his load into my mouth and swallow it but I have a few questions. First, would my swallowing his cum increase any risks over me just sucking him off and not having him cum in my mouth? For the first time is it best to have his cock deep in my mouth (throat) when he cums or just the head in my mouth? (I want to get the full effect and the thought of feeling my mouth fill with cum makes me hard as hell.) Finally, is having a cock explode in your mouth as hot as I think it will be?

Thanks for any help you can offer.

Dear Rob: Congratulations on living your fantasies. It has become generally accepted that there is not a lot more risk involved in having a guy cum in your mouth than in simply sucking his bare cock. However, there are rare cases of HIV infection that have been attributed to oral sex. If your partner is HIV positive it is considered a possibility for you to become infected through your mouth from even the pre-cum he might produce while you just suck him. The condition of your mouth is important; recent dental work, lesions, blisters and gum irritation provide an entry for HIV, which is most efficiently transmitted via blood. Finally, recreational drugs such as speed can weaken saliva’s ability to inhibit HIV transmission because it dries out your mouth and reduces the protective coating of saliva.

If you want to get the full effect of him cumming in your mouth then you definitely want just the head in your mouth when he blows it. Most guys produce about a couple of spoonfuls of cum per load, which is enough to feel like a mouthful. If you have the head at the back of your throat his load will go down our throat avoiding your mouth.

Having a cock explode in your mouth can be really hot -- or not. It is a very personal taste (pun intended). Some guys love it and don’t consider the act complete without it. Some prefer the back of the throat method if they are not into the taste/texture of cum in their mouth. With some experience you’ll sort out your own preference. Personally, when I have a mouth full of cum I like to move up and kiss my partner so he can taste his own cum.

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From: Living in the Past
Subject: TMI (too much information)
Question: I've been with a great guy for a couple of months. We are both in our late thirties. I recently asked him about his sexual past and was shocked by his answer. He guessed he had been with at least five thousand men over the last twenty-five years (that would average two hundred per year). My count is about a hundred. I then made the mistake of asking for more details. He gave me details of everything from drugged out fisting parties to anonymous bathhouse orgies. He said that's the past but I can't seem to get his past out of my mind. What do you suggest?

Dear LITP: You need to be careful what you ask because sometimes the answer is not what you want to hear. I’m sure this started as a small thing and you expected him to have an answer similar to your own. Five thousand sex partners over twenty-five years is getting up there but I don’t find it hard to believe. Some of it depends on what the definition is that you use for sex partners. For example; say you were at the baths and you participate in a bit of group action in the steamroom with six guys then you go over to the gloryholes and suck off three guys, then you meet up with a guy that you bring back to your room to fuck with. Have you had sex with ten guys or just the one you fucked with? (I’d call that ten in one night.) If you attend a sex party with twenty guys do you count them all or just the half dozen you have extended contact with in the course of the evening?

It is also possible that your partner racked up this total largely in his youth, back in the days when gay sex was much more liberal and his libido more pressing. The option of promiscuity is one of the privileges of gay life and I don’t feel you should think less of him because of this past. I’d suggest you put this out of your mind and judge this guy by who he is now and how he treats you. And with all that experience I hope he’s great in bed.

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From: Poz Guy
Subject: Poz sex
Question: I’m a positive guy. I’m interested in exploring barebacking with other positive guys. Since I’m HIV positive I don’t have to worry about that. What I’m wondering about is whether regular STDs present any greater danger to me because of my status. I don’t feel comfortable discussing this with my doctor.

Dear Poz Guy: I’m afraid you are mistaken in thinking you have nothing to fear from further HIV infection. It has recently been confirmed that it is possible to become ‘super-infected’ with two or more distinct strains of the virus. It used to be believed that once you were infected with one strain, you would be immune to other HIV infections. This means that even if you are taking all your medications, there is a possibility of you being re-infected by drug resistant strains of the virus, which are much harder to treat.
Being HIV positive does weaken your immune system. So yes you may be more vulnerable to some regular STDs too.

Barebacking is a sexy idea but putting it into practice is problematic. Especially so in anonymous situations in which you have no information on your partners health status.

 

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