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Gloryhole Initiation!
Features > The Guidance Counselor
by Doug McClelland
(posted Febraury, 2005)
From:
Dan
Subject: Cock and ball torture
Question: I was wondering what long and short term side effects
can occur by placing a thick rubber band around my balls that already
has a ball spreader on my cock and balls, I love to have my nuts
played with during this strange exercise that I have discovered
during one of my many masturbation sessions. Sometimes I'll leave
this on till my balls ache and turn real purple. I also love it
when my friend slightly slaps my nuts or nibbles on them while he's
sucking them. Will that have any side effects as well?
Dear Dan: Your balls can be manipulated in many ways to provide stimulation. Most of these methods involve stretching and binding in various ways. Some guys love this and some run the other way when the subject is raised.
The broadest guideline is to go slowly until you know how much you can take. If the pain from a particular activity starts to spread into other areas of the body, or if the pain lasts for a long time after the stimulation ends, you have probably gone beyond your limits. You won't reach this point generally if you take your time. If you find yourself in pain later, or if you notice any abnormalities in your cock or balls when flaccid or erect, see a doctor. You should avoid any practice that seriously wrenches or twists the genitals; there are many ligaments and blood vessels in there, damage to which may make it hard for you to get hard. But the cock and balls can handle binding, stretching or slapping, provided it is done with care.
If you Google ‘cock and ball torture’ you’ll discover many sites discussing detailed ways to work you balls.
From:
Michael
Subject: Hurts to get fucked
Question: After having plenty of sexual encounters with other
men, I've pretty much done it all with the exception of getting
fucked in the ass. I have tried it several times but it always hurts
when the other guy’s dick initially penetrates. I've had my
hole rimmed and finger fucked and both feel great but I really would
like to get fucked. Am I doing something wrong?
Dear Michael: You are just experiencing what many men deal with when they first start getting fucked. There is a bit of technique involved in taking a dick up your ass comfortably. If you like being finger fucked all that will be necessary is to work up to cock size. You need to learn to relax your ass muscles. You need to use lots of lube. You need a partner who will enter you slowly. Eventually you’ll become accustomed to being penetrated but it may still hurt some at first as your ass muscles relax around the cock. It is normal for there to be some pain at the moment of penetration.
I think you should buy a small dildo and try and insert it yourself. And I mean a SMALL dildo, like the width of two or three fingers, not a porn star dildo! If you get used to it and it doesn't hurt then gradually work up to a larger and larger size until you can tolerate a dildo that is about the size of a penis. You can use the small dildo as part of foreplay as a warm up to your partner’s cock.
I think many tops do not have much patience with novice bottoms and want to plunge in to the hilt immediately. This attitude comes from watching too much porn. In reality, many men need a very gradual penetration. Slowly work it in, then stop and relax with his cock inside you.
As a guy who bottoms only a couple of times a year, I can tell you that it takes me five minutes to get it in. But then it’s all great and off we go. I also find that the best position to start out in is you on top sitting on his cock; this allows you more control.
From:
Scott
Subject: Escort love
Question: Hi, I am twenty-five years old. I have a few different
problems. I have always wanted to meet up and have fun with a male
escort. I finally got up the nerve to follow through and I met this
awesome guy. You see, I love his personality and his life style.
I think I fell for the guy. At this time I am overweight and don't
find myself attractive and I am sure he does not either but I adore
this guy. I think about him all the time and can’t get him
out of my mind. He is in perfect shape and my age. What can I do
to just be friends with this man? Second, I have met with him a
few times and each time I have been unable to cum. I have no problem
cumming alone or with anyone else but with him I can't. Why? Thanks.
Dear Scott: Falling for an escort is a big mistake. Their job is to make you like them and to make you feel good. It is a job nevertheless. This man will not be interested in you without cash payment. Using escorts is a great way to live your fantasies…most particularly the fantasy that a handsome stud is hot for you.
If you want to see if there is a chance of friendship simply suggest that the two of you do something social outside the business relationship. If he is interested in friendship you’ll find out.
You may not be cumming with him because the whole experience is emotionally stressful. But I have to wonder how good an escort he is if he is taking your money and not getting you off. Next time you hire him insist that he do whatever it takes to get you off…at least you’ll be getting your money’s worth.
From:
Eric
Subject: Still want sex after twenty-five years
Question: I've been with my partner for twenty-five years
and we have a great relationship except for one thing: I want to
have sex with him but he is no longer interested in sex with me
or anyone else (so he's told me). After pressing him for an explanation
I believe most of it is because I have been HIV positive for at
least seventeen years and he is negative. I think the rest of it
is because he watches porno (and jacks off to it daily) and spends
at least two hours a day on sexual web sites.
Since I'm in my late forties and my body no longer looks like it once did due to advanced HIV and middle age, I know I'm no longer a beauty queen (but neither is he). We've always had an open relationship and very much enjoyed three-ways and group sex situations till about ten or twelve years ago but he has refused any physical sex for fear of disease. When I am feeling well enough, I have gone to bathhouses and sleazy bars several times in the last year to have sex but I would much rather stay home and sex with my partner. I have tried explaining about safe sex and the low risk to him since I am a total bottom but it hasn't helped. Can you advise me on anything else I can do to convince my partner to begin a sexual relationship again? Thanks.
Dear Eric: First, I have to tell you that most relationships of twenty-five years, whether gay or straight, are sexless. So please don’t think that you are alone in suffering with this issue. But most often both partners experience a similar dulling of desire as the years go by.
I think it is unrealistic to hope that one other person will be able to satisfy all your sexual needs forever. Gay men deal with this better than straight couples do by having open relationships. We have bathhouses and sleazy bars and cruisy Web sites to facilitate this so don’t feel guilty about going out and getting laid.
Regarding your specific issues with your partner, HIV/AIDS is a terrible scourge on our community and it is understandable that you partner is fearful of getting it. He has the example of how it is affecting you to remind him constantly. There are HIV vaccine trials going on in various places. If one eventually works your partner could be vaccinated and his fear removed.
It is clear that he still has lots of sex drive if he is jacking off everyday and spending lots of time on porn sites. If he had low sex drive I’d suggest Viagra or other similar drugs. Perhaps you could convince him to come with you to the baths or sleazy bars and try to nudge him back into real sex, possibly including you. Porn sites and jacking off really are not as good as real sex so if you can get him back into the real thing with others at the baths, maybe he’ll come around.
The one other idea I can suggest is for you to insert yourself into his existing sexual practices. Join him while he is surfing porn; tell him you want to jack off watching him jack off. If you can create a situation where you are both aroused and have your dicks out you may be able to initiate more.
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