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Features > The Guidance Counselor
by Doug McClelland
(posted July, 2005)
From:
Richard
Subject: Regarding butt fucked
Question: Hi there. I have read your comments many times
in the past, but now I have a question that I hope you can answer.
I am a total bottom and I love to get fucked all the time. I enjoy
it very much, but recently I have had a problem when my butt is
fucked; I cum to quick. I try to hold my cum as long as I can, but
if I touch my cock then I shoot my load instantly. Then I’m
done for the night. Is there any solution, such as tying my balls,
wearing a cock ring, etc.
Dear Richard: Cock rings and other similar devices are generally designed to help you maintain an erection longer and keep your dick harder, not slow down cumming. Actually, you are very lucky to be able to get off just from being fucked *Mmmm* That must feel great. There are desensitizing creams that numb your cock a bit that might allow you to stroke it while getting fucked. If you do a Google search on premature ejaculation you will also find there are various techniques that may work to slow you down.
I would also suggest that you might approach it a different way. How about trying Viagra or one of the other stimulant drugs, with the hope that after you cum once, you’ll be able to be aroused again in a short time. The second time around it should take you longer to cum, and you will have twice the fun.
From:
Alex
Subject: Fissures
Question: I must say that I absolutely love your advice column.
I have recently been experiencing anal fissures. I went to a physician
and he explained that they are a sort of fissure, but not a true
anal fissure because they don't actually go into my ass. They started
on the rim and some went to the edge of my pucker, but you could
easily see both ends of the tear. He gave me some medicine to put
on it and it cleared up. But now one has popped up again, except
it's about an inch or two above my hole where the crack of my ass
starts. I have not had anal sex in well over a month and cannot
think of any other reason for these to appear. My previous partner
was huge and we fucked all the time and I did not tear that often.
Now I seem to tear for no reason at all, it just suddenly pops up
without warning. Is there anything else that can cause me to get
tears other than anal sex? Is there anything that can be done to
reduce the frequency of fissures or get rid of them completely?
Dear Alex: Fissures are much more likely to be caused by bowel problems than anal sex. A hard, dry bowel movement can cause a tear in the anal lining, resulting in a fissure. Other causes of a fissure include diarrhea and inflammation of the area. Occasional fissures are usually due to altered bowel habits while chronic fissures may be either due to poor bowel habits, overly tight or spastic anal sphincter muscles, scarring or an underlying medical problem. Bowel habits are improved with a high fiber diet, stool softeners, and plenty of fluids to avoid constipation and promote the passage of soft stools. Warm baths for 10-20 minutes several times each day are soothing and promote relaxation of the anal muscles. Occasionally, special medicated creams may be recommended. A chronic fissure (lasting greater than one month) may require additional treatment. Depending on the appearance of the fissure, other medical problems such as inflammatory bowel disease or infections may be possible. A manometry test may be performed to determine if anal sphincter pressures are high. Some doctors consider the occasional fissure a minor problem, but if you are into anal sex even the occasional one is a problem. This is one of those times when a sympathetic gay doctor is appreciated.
From:
An Annoyed Reader
Subject: Canadian Health Care System
Question: Well Doug, you are at it again. In previous columns
in the Cruising for Sex Guidance Counselor, you lectured bisexual
men telling them that they are just gay men in waiting. Now, in
your most recent column, you feel the need to lecture people in
the United States on the supposed inadequacies of the US health
care system. You write: "You guys need socialized medicine
in the US.”
Surely you are aware of a recent Canada Supreme Court ruling, in which the court declared that inadequate resources in the Canadian health care system actually lead to deaths. That's right, the deaths of Canadians. Here is what the Canada Supreme Court had to say in part:
"The evidence in this case shows that delays in the public health-care system are widespread, and that, in some serious cases, patients die as a result of waiting lists for public health care" (Chief Justice Beverley McLachlin and Mr. Justice Jack Major wrote on behalf of Mr. Justice Michel Bastarache).
So. before you get all know-it-all about the presumed benefits of socialized medicine, you should familiarize yourself with all the facts.
Dear An Annoyed Reader: Thanks for your letter. First on the subject of bisexuality, let me quote the July 5th article from the New York Times by Benedict Carey, titled “Straight, Gay or Lying? Bisexuality Revisited.”
“A new study casts doubt on whether true bisexuality exists, at least in men. The study, by a team of psychologists in Chicago and Toronto, lends support to those who have long been skeptical that bisexuality is a distinct and stable sexual orientation. People who claim bisexuality, according to these critics, are usually homosexual, but are ambivalent about their homosexuality or simply closeted. ‘You're either gay, straight or lying,’ as some gay men have put it. In the new study, a team of psychologists directly measured genital arousal patterns in response to images of men and women. The psychologists found that men who identified themselves as bisexual were in fact exclusively aroused by either one sex or the other, usually by other men.”
Now onto healthcare. Gay men are particularly impacted by healthcare policy so I feel it is relevant to my column. It’s debatable how much a country should choose to allocate to the healthcare of its people. For example, the US clearly spends more per citizen than Canada (or any other country), but once you decide how much should be spent it seems to me that how it is spent is more important. In Canada, medical resources are distributed according to medical need among every citizen, not primarily according to wealth among only a percentage of citizens able to afford healthcare. Recent figures show that about 40 million Americans do not have health coverage. In addition, Canada has Pharmacare, which pays for all my drugs over $700 per year. You can see how that impacts on HIV drug expenses. It seems that certain people are willing to say, “I’ve got mine,” and not worry about the rest, but I expect more from my gay brothers.
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