Features > The Guidance Counselor

by Doug McClelland

[Editor: See here for our standard note on confidentiality and anonymity.]

(posted December, 2005)

From: 2Gage
Subject: Condoms
Question: I’ve been working my way up through various sizes of Prince Albert piercing. Now I can wear a 2 gage and it feels great and looks hot. Sometimes it seems to scare off guys from sucking my dick, but I’m mainly into fucking anyway so that’s not a big problem. My question is regarding condoms. Will my P.A. cause the condom to break while I’m fucking?

Dear 2Gage: A Prince Albert piercing is a ring passing through the head of the cock, down the hole and out the bottom. It increases the sensitivity of the cock. Condoms are actually quite strong, and as long as no sharp edges are involved they should stand up. To be on the safe side, stick with the thick brands and avoid the thinner, "extra sensitive" ones. Also, you may find that a large size condom fits you and your piercing more comfortably if they seem tight.

By the way, it is called a Prince Albert because it seems that Queen Victoria’s husband Albert had one.

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From: ‘POZ- a tively Healthy’
Subject: Skin tags
Question: I’ve had skin tags for years around my anus after a wicked case of haemorrhoids from excessive diarrhoea, which was caused by wasting syndrome. I'm POZ and healthy now but my anus looks ugly and I'm self conscious about it and fear that no one wants to touch me. Is there any way to get rid of them?

Dear ‘POZ- a tively Healthy’: A skin tag is a common condition, which consists of a bit of skin projecting from the surrounding skin. They may be smooth or irregular, flesh coloured or more deeply pigmented. They may be simply raised above the surrounding skin or have a stalk so that the skin tag hangs from the skin. They are harmless, but can be unattractive.

Skin tags are often removed, and it can be done easily in a doctor’s office. There are three methods commonly used. Freezing the tag with liquid nitrogen, which involves the doctor placing a drop on the tag to kill the tissue, works well. I had a tag removed from my armpit this way and it was painless and instant. Tags can also be removed by tying off the tag with a thread or suture so as to cut off the blood supply, or simply by cutting off the tag. This is a problem you can get taken care of easily.

Now with trepidation I feel the need to address another issue that comes out of your letter. More and more often I am seeing guys infected with an incurable, contagious disease that is ultimately going to kill them describing themselves as healthy. You may be in remission, your viral load may be low and you may be feeling great, but you are not healthy by any stretch of the imagination. Someone who is healthy is not committed to a lifetime of strict medication regime. HIV-AIDS may no longer be a death sentence, but it definitely still a life sentence. A positive attitude is a good thing, but there is still a long way to go with no cure in sight.

Recently at the baths I watched a beautiful young athletic guy getting gang banged in the steamroom, not a condom in sight. He looked ‘healthy’. The eroticism faded as I realized that he must be positive and trying to fit as much life as possible into his time left. We still need to find a cure and a vaccine.

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From: Martin
Subject: HIV assault
Question: I recently read about a court case where a football player was being charged with assault for not telling a woman that he was fucking, that he was positive. It seems a bit outrageous to me that people are still having unsafe sex and then complaining about getting HIV. Gays know we must protect ourselves, you would think straights would catch up eventually. What do you think?

Dear Richard: The Supreme Court of Canada has ruled that a person cannot give informed consent to have sex with you if you have lied about your HIV status, or even simply not mentioned that you are positive. In other words; just because someone is too stupid, misinformed, intimidated, or turned on to protect themselves, does not give you the right to infect them with a deadly disease.

This makes perfect sense to me. I’m not sure what the legal situation is state by state in the U.S, but I expect the logic is similar.

Positive guys have a responsibility to not spread disease to their gay brothers. I don’t see this being practiced. If the most intimate acts are based on lies and misrepresentation then there is a problem in our community.

I take safe sex precautions every time, because I believe I am responsible for my own health. But doing so is the equivalent of assuming everyone is positive, while in reality only a small number are. Yet, since I cannot trust positive guys to warn me about their status, that’s what is necessary.

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