CRUISING for SEX

by Doug McClelland

(posted March, 2003)

From: Sleazy Tourist
Subject: Where to travel for sex
Question: I’ve been browsing the CRUISING for SEX international listings as part of my research on choosing the destination of my first foreign vacation.

I’ve traveled all over the US and what I enjoy is big city urban culture. As well I enjoy the opportunity to get up close and personal with the local men in sleazy venues like baths, bookstores and backrooms.

I'm thirty years old, fairly good looking and looking to inaugurate my new passport with an adventurous trip. What would you suggest?

Dear Sleazy Tourist: Congratulations on broadening your travel plans. It always amazes me that close to 50% of Americans do not have passports. There is a huge world out there to explore.

Suggesting one destination for you on the little you’ve told me would be difficult. One person’s idea of an adventurous trip can be very different than another person’s. Do you need first class accommodation, do you speak any foreign languages, what level of safety do you need? Let me offer a range of suggestions from my favorite destinations.

Montreal, Canada is a beautiful French speaking city, close to home, yet foreign. The French Canadian men are very sexy, there are lots of gay guesthouses, bars, and clubs, and it really is a beautiful city. In particular, Montreal has a huge number of baths. You can get by in English too.

For something a bit more challenging, you could try Barcelona, Spain. Barcelona is a gorgeous city full of buildings built in the Spanish version of Art Deco, making a simple walk down the street a visual joy. In Barcelona most bars have very busy back rooms, with some bars allocating more than 50% of their area to sex spaces, such as the Barcelona Eagle. The back rooms are always full of handsome Spaniards. There are a small number of gay hotels and guesthouses that are well located. A bit of Spanish would help, but you can get by with English.

For someplace more challenging still, I’d suggest Buenos Aires, where I happen to be as I write this column. B.A. is a huge city of ten million or so, reminiscent of a dilapidated Paris. The nightlife is hot, going on till dawn most nights of the week. The men are very passionate and handsome in an ‘Antonio Banderas’ way. Every night here I have found myself having sex in bathrooms of bars. It is extremely cheap to visit Argentina right now due to their currency problems. There are a couple of gay hotels and a number of ‘gay friendly’ places including the Castelar Hotel (castelarhotel.com.ar) where I am, which includes a historic seventy-five year old spa frequented by men who have sex with men (which I think is a more accurate description than ‘gay’ for many men in South America). A lot of people speak a bit of English, but few outside the tourist industry speak it fluently.

Finally, if you are looking for a very challenging sleazy destination you could try Rio de Janeiro, which is a huge city, speaking Portuguese, which can be dangerous. I was there the first week of March for Carnival and was in a club called The Elite that was so full that I practically body surfed through the back room that was seething with sweat soaked, near naked men. I wrote a full column about Rio a while back that you can read at here.

The sex listings here at CRUISING for SEX have info in varying amounts on all these cities. I’ve been to all these cities fairly recently, enjoyed them, and can personally recommend them. All of them are still friendly to American tourists.

Good luck in your travels wherever you choose.

From: Shel
Subject: Cautiously bi-curious
Question: I am a fifty-one year old male, married thirty years and have two kids. I have had a number of affairs with women over the years. Having said that, I am relatively ‘square’, living in a New York City suburb with the house, yard and dog, etc.

For the last two years I have been more and more interested in gay porn -- I even learned the term ‘bi-curious’. I think I would like to go further but I am not sure how to proceed. I am not sure if I am afraid to get involved, afraid of disease or afraid of getting caught.

Reading the messages on the Web site and the comments by those who post there, the impression is that there are lots of phonies -- no different, I imagine, than the straight sites.

I even responded to one of them but chickened out (yes, I did let the person know).

Any thoughts, suggestions?

Dear Shel: I’d suggest that you act on your interest. Gay sex is fantastic.

Gay life in a big city like NYC is particularly accommodating to dabbling. You can be anonymous in the big city; there are many venues, and a huge variety of men.

Regarding your concerns…there is no need for you to get involved as there are lots of other men looking for one-niters. There is little reason to worry about disease as long as you familiarize yourself with safe sex and practice it. There is little chance of you getting caught because anonymous sex is easy to find. These seem to be roadblocks you are making for yourself.

Respond to someone who interests you, and take the plunge. We are all just regular guys looking to get laid and I suspect you will find that you’ll enjoy the experience.

From: Jim
Subject: Herpes and what's with bent cocks?
Question: I am a married-bi man and have just started to cruise. I have had herpes for about twenty years with an occurrence about three times a year. I met a bi-man and noticed that his cock was a really reddish color near the top third of his cock. I did not see any open sores are marks. We had oral sex and he fucked me with a rubber. Every since then, the tip of my tongue has been sensitive with a burning feel and small reddish areas. Also, the outside of my ass has a burning feel. It has lasted about three weeks and is slowly dissipating. I have been tested and only herpes shows up. Did I get exposed to another case of herpes? I thought I was being careful.

Also, what is it with the "bent cock" as his was that way?

Dear Jim: First, as a new cruiser I suspect that you have not had the opportunity to examine a lot of other guys cocks. The shape and color of cocks vary greatly. The cocks of some circumcised men are redder towards the top when erect, in the area that in a natural condition would be covered by the foreskin. So the coloration you mention may just be natural.

You can get herpes from oral sex and a condom will not always protect you from herpes as it can be passed during the foreplay. There are a number of types of herpes and you can be infected with multiple strains. You really need to discus this with your doctor. I’m concerned that you say you have occurrences about three times a year. There is no need to suffer these outbreaks. There are three different drugs that treat herpes well, most notably Acyclovir also known as Zovirax. You should be able to prevent outbreaks with the proper medication.

Finally, while a slight curve in an erect penis can be normal for some men, a severe bend may cause pain and interfere with sex. This bending of the penis is known as Peyronie's Disease. This is caused by a hard lump of plaque or scar tissue that develops beneath the skin of your penis, usually at the top or bottom. The lump pulls on the skin and erectile tissue, forcing your penis to bend abnormally in the direction of the lump. This can be caused by injury to your penis but in most cases the scar tissue, plaque and subsequent bending develop over years, without a clear cause. The condition can be surgically corrected.

From time to time, all men should inspect their erect penises for bends. Also feel for lumps, particularly on the top and bottom of your penis. If you notice anything out of the ordinary, consult your doctor or urologist.

From: Vrigin Ass
Subject: What's the appeal of anal sex?
Question: I’m fairly new to the gay scene and have a question. I’ve never been fucked and I can’t understand how it could feel good. But it seems to be the defining act of gay sex. Does it really feel good?

Dear Virgin Ass: Taking it up the ass is great!

Guys enjoy getting fucked for a variety of reasons. Psychologically, it a very powerful experience to have your partner inside you. Emotionally it is very intimate.

As for the physical sensations, they center on the prostate gland. The prostate is a small, very sensitive organ located inside you, between the rectum and the bladder. There are nerve endings in the prostate which connect to the base of the spinal cord and directly to the brain. Stimulating the prostate is very pleasurable. In most men the prostate will be rubbed by their partners cock while they are being fucked.

Of course fucking requires both a top and a bottom, and maybe you will be exclusively a top. But I think even tops will be better sex partners if they bottom now and then to better know the experience from both sides.

Find a partner willing to gently initiate you. He should consider it an honor.

Try it you’ll like it.

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