Features > The Guidance Counselor

by Doug McClelland

(posted July, 2003)

From: Wolf
Subject: Hungry like the wolf
Question: I go well out of my way to download everything relating to cum...ejaculation shots, straight cum, gay cum, cum dripping from cunts, solo-masturbation, etc…but I'm especially drawn to images or videos of guys who really get off on eating cum (not their own though). It’s actually a bit of an obsession. Though I consider it a relatively healthy obsession, considering I'm only looking for images, I still feel a bit like a freak. It’s time for a second opinion. What do you think?

Nothing turns me on more than to think of (or better yet, see) a guy who really wants to eat cum. The funniest thing is, in my sexual encounters, I don't want to do it...er...eat that is. But when a guy wants to eat me, wow. That's really hot! My partners are usually very willing to accommodate though I have a nagging feeling I should be doing the same in turn. Perhaps secretly I really want to be a total oral cumpig but my conservative sheepskin is very tight to get out of.

Through my thirteen years of being out (I'm thirty years old) I've heard back-and-forth statements on how safe or not it is to eat jizz, or at least get it in the mouth. Now I'm just outright confused as to what's risky and what's not and take the viewpoint of 'better safe than sorry'. What's your take on this situation?

Dear Wolf: I would not consider a gay man obsessed with cum to be a freak. Everyone has there own little kinks and cum obsession has to be pretty low on the list of things to worry about. Considering that the object of your obsession is central to gay sex acts it is not particularly odd for you to focus on it. So go ahead and obsess.

As for your worry about reciprocating with your partners, lots of guys are more into sucking than getting sucked. As long as you connect with guys primarily into doing the servicing, don’t worry about not doing something that you are not into.

Does your partner cumming in your mouth increase HIV risk? Saliva kills HIV, as do stomach acids. But even Pre-cum contains HIV, so just having his penis in your mouth may be enough to expose you to the virus. Should you swallow or not? If you keep his cum in your mouth while you run to the bathroom to spit it out, you are keeping the virus in contact with mucous membranes in your mouth longer than if you just swallowed. Many studies have shown that oral sex does have a small risk (much less than anal sex) of transmitting HIV. Small risk does not equal no risk! There are no studies that separate swallowing cum as being more dangerous than not swallowing. Going the extra mile of swallowing his cum has not been proven to increase risk substantially.

Some men believe that by not brushing their teeth before sex they protect their gums and decrease their risk of catching HIV from oral sex. Unfortunately HIV is so small that it only needs a tiny hole to get into your body -- the kind we all have in our tonsils and from normal gum irritation. Things like this do little except make us feel safer.

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From: Mark
Subject: Shaving nicks
Question: When I was younger I started shaving my balls and have several permanent shaving nicks where the hairs grow from. I can't seem to get rid of the bloody nicks and am searching for a solution. Any solutions available to old shaving nicks on the balls?

Dear Mark: If it were me I’d try using a high concentration Vitamin E oil. Vitamin E is a natural healing agent. Try a 28,000 I.U. strength, which has the consistency of thick oil.

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From: Concerned
Subject: Health concern
Question: I had anal sex (protected) with a man who (thinking back) seemed to be ill. By that I mean that I thought he has HIV or something else and it preoccupies me now. He sucked me up for just a bit and I did not have any oral sex with him. He just inserted his dick and went on it for a while. I don't feel fine now and that scares me.

What is the risk of getting HIV from someone who may be HIV+? In another front, how risky is to have oral sex in terms of getting gonorrhea? And most importantly, how does gonorrhea enter the urethra? Is there anything that can be done once oral sex ends to prevent it? Hope you can answer my concerns and congratulations on your well-explained answers.

Dear Concerned: Condoms provide very good protection from HIV transmission. So if you had protected anal sex there should be little to worry about.

Gonorrhea and most STDs can infect the throat. You can catch most STDs lurking in a partner's mouth when he sucks you. Most men don't use condoms for oral sex and the discharge in your partner’s mouth can seep into your urethra. Gonorrhea can be asymptomatic in his mouth so he may not even know he has it. Pissing after sex may help prevent particles from entering the Urethra.

If you do not feel well you should be visiting a doctor to get checked out immediately. You need not identify yourself as gay, just as sexually active and concerned about HIV and STDs.

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From: Curious
Subject: Straight Guy-Bi-Curious
Question: I'm a straight male, thirty years old, very sexually comfortable with myself, that has recently thought about ‘trying the other side’. I'm not looking for anything hardcore but was pondering the male-to-male experience. My question is where does someone like myself look into fulfilling a somewhat fantasy without any major issues involved. I've been on a few sites looking around and the discretion is rather vague, if not bleak. If you have any advice for the curious, please let me know.

Dear Curious: Glad to hear you want to try a little man-to-man action. In my experience with both men and women, I have come to believe there are certain pleasures that each sex is better at providing. I expect you have a good idea what you like from women so let me offer a few things that I think men do better.

The first is blowjobs. Men know what feels good to themselves and genuinely like cocks as opposed to women who often just do it to please their partner. There are men devoted to sucking cocks and you'll definitely get a better blowjob from a man.

As well, I have to say that in my experience the tightest pussy I ever fucked was not as tight as the loosest man's ass I’ve had. So if you like to fuck you'll love anal sex.

Men are also more equal partners physically. If you like the idea of a sort of 'struggle for dominance' with someone of equal strength, man-to-man sex is great.

And finally men are mentally easier to deal with. Men are all generally horny so it is much easier to find a sex partner without all that dating BS.

I'd suggest that you try visiting a gay bathhouse. A bath is set up much like a gym locker room or a YMCA. There are a lot of small private rooms, lockers, steamroom and maybe some gym equipment. You check in, take off your cloths, wrap a towel around your waist and wander about. When you see someone who attracts you, approach them, and if the interest is mutual you go to your room and have sex.

You can also wait and see who approaches you if you are not ready to be aggressive. On a busy weekend evening you will find a wide variety of men to choose from who are also looking for easy anonymous sex.

Baths are safe zones for gay cruising and sex. Check our Sex Listings to find the nearest bath to you. Once you have a bit of experience you can expand your hunting to online hook ups and other cruising areas which you can also find in the Sex Listings.

 

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